The first salvo in the race for Downing Street has been fired. At Sky’s shiny HQ in the west London suburb of Osterley. The opening sequence featured some light callisthenics displaying the colours of the two main political parties, a copter camera whirred above, the spin room was packed to the rafters with political heavyweights spinning for their candidates.
In the blue corner was incumbent PM David Cameron and his nemesis Labour’s Ed Miliband, and the big dragon they had to slay across the very, very large coffee table, Jeremy Paxman who has left the careers of many politicos in tatters. So you must forgive Ed for opting to take this bitter pill later and preferring to meet the audience first. Meanwhile Cameron decided to rush in and was felled by staccato Paxo upper cuts, “How many food banks do we have?” Can you live on a zero-hours contract?” Cameron’s mouthguard seemed to have been knocked out of place as he spluttered, “No, I can’t live on a zero-hours contract.”
Ah, shuffles forward Ed Miliband who promptly regurgitates answers as if learnt by rote. Paxo contemptuously barks, “You are answering your own questions! A studio audience gasps. Miliband weathers the hail. Is he really up to the soon-to-be vacant PM job, Paxo sniffs. Miliband corks his head forward as if buoyed by an unseen force. “Hell Yeah, I’m tough enough.”
A worried Paxo asks, “Are you okay?” Miliband fires a riposte, “Paxman up!”